I am lucky. Lucky to be surrounded by people who love me and support me in everything I do.
It hasn’t always been this way. Way back, before I met the wife, my social circle was rather limited and largely online. Which is not bad, but I’m realizing that after high school, when my mental health began to take its toll on me, friendship became harder and a lower priority. And I missed out.
This isn’t something I regret per se, just another thing I lost in those years where I was focused on staying alive and nothing else.
I lost a lot in those times.
I learned a lot in those times.
I’ve learned a lot in the journey I have taken in finding a way to live side by side with this illness.
When I look back on the past two to three years of my life, I am astounded. I have and continue to transition from living a life focused on getting from one day to the next to one focused on living the best I can from one day to the next.
I have goals. I have hobbies. I have more friends than my schedule can handle.
And this community I have plays a large role in keeping me from ever going back to where I was. If I miss doing my gratitude a few nights a week on Instagram, it will be noticed. If I don’t post here, it will be noticed. I am seen and loved and met exactly where I am, exactly as I am.
I am seen and loved in a way I have never allowed myself to be seen or loved. And it sustains me.
I wouldn’t be who I am without having lived the life I have lived. I wouldn’t appreciate the power of the community I have without having had years where I felt completely alone (which was largely lies. There was community; I just didn’t let them in).
If you are in the midst of a hard time, reach out to someone, anyone.
You are not alone.