This hasn’t been the easiest week for me.
I feel the depressed mind in action. Instead of being able to easily think my way past feelings, the feelings explode in my face and I get irritated in a flash. Small things irk me more than they should.
That customer who is upset over something which seems mundane to me.
The coworker who doesn’t want to do the cleaning task they’re assigned.
I know why I’m depressed right now. It’s situational and I can accurately pinpoint the incident which has led to this.
My grandpa died a few weeks ago, and while I’m glad he is no longer in pain, I am grieving harder than I thought I would.
I am a big believer in legacy. I look to the family members who have come before me and they help me find myself and my history. I don’t think their mistakes carry on, but they certainly impact us in subtle ways.
Honestly legacy is one thing that keeps me going. What legacy will I leave. How will my life affect that of my nieces and nephews, both biological and other. What impact am I leaving on the world?
I didn’t realize the impact my grandpa had on me. Only in focusing on his life did I realize how much his life and his example shaped who I am.
My dad’s side of the family is from the Church of the Brethren; a historic peace church kind of similar to the Mennonites and Quakers. Because of his faith, my grandpa was a conscientious objector during World War II. He followed his conscious even when it was a not so popular decision. He served, just in a way which did not compromise his beliefs. He worked in Arkansas and planting trees to reforest the Pacific Northwest.
This example has had a tremendous impact on my life. To make a decision to do what you believe is right is a powerful thing. To have the courage to stand up for your convictions leaves a legacy. To dare to live a life of honor leaves a legacy.
My grandpa was a man of faith, and he lived a life congruent with his beliefs. He believed in a God of love, of mercy, of grace, of peace; and his life reflected that. He advocated for peace. He advocated for the poor. His actions backed up what he believed.
What are your actions showing?
We don’t realize the effect we have on others. We get lost in our own heads and lose sight of how much of a difference we make.
Having lived through times of terrible depression, I can tell you sometimes it’s the stupid little things that keep you alive. Sometimes it’s the free drink, the random card, the reminder that you are appreciated.
This week try and make a difference. Life is hard for everyone. We are all dealing with our own shit. We all have things weighing us down, hurts that others don’t know about. We also all can make a difference in someone’s life without realizing it.
My own faith is a complicated and convoluted thing. Maybe some day I will go into that here, but not today. But my grandpa changed the world. And while his convictions came from a Christian faith, we ALL have convictions regardless of what we believe or don’t believe.
I believe in love. I believe in an ACTIVE love.
Actions speak louder than words is certainly a cliché, but damn is it true.
What legacy are you leaving?
Whose life can you impact this week?
Who do you appreciate?
It could change someone’s life.